The Usual Counterarguments Addressed

The first argument I usually receive to my assertion that Andy is probably still alive is something mixed heavily with scorn. It’s the kind of lazy argument we get from people who want to rely solely on expert opinion and “established fact.” These people also believe the New York Times, their Congressional Representatives, their pastor, and other figures of authority. In other words, it’s the same old primate response wrapped up in human clothing.

To step back away from the Wall of Establish Fact, we have to poke around at those weak layers that create the illusion of foundation. How do we know what we know?

1) The news and larger media say he’s absolutely dead.

The NY Times also pronounced hoaxer Alan Abel to be “dead.” They even ran his obituary. If Alan hadn’t surfaced publicly and declared himself alive, we might still think he’d gone to join the ancestors. Alan perfected the death hoax — and Andy spent hours on the phone with Alan as well as a weekend talking with him in detail about death hoaxing. Alan is among the death skeptics.

2) Aren’t all dead celebrities really alive?

This is more a guttural primate reaction based on fear of the unknown and a need to believe the larger consensus than it is an actual argument. My position is that Andy not only planned to fake his death, he investigate it in great depth and talked to many friends about it.

3) The death certificate!

Yes, and it’s over at Smoking Gun. We all know. It’s estimated that 1000 or more faked “official” death certificates are created every year. Andy was not entered into the main Social Security death index. His family did not declare his death to SS. This isn’t by itself surprising since many people aren’t reported. However, Andy DOES show up as “dead” in Orange County SS. This suggests more fakery to me than fact. The death certificate was somehow entered into the system — doing so through an Orange County office might be one way to do so without it being noticed.

4) The funeral

Go and check all the accounts. We’ll wait. If you can find two that agree, I will be surprised. It was open casket, it was closed casket, there were people poking at him, no one was allowed near the casket, there were flowers, there were no flowers, music was played, no music was played, the casket was blue, the casket was wood-grain … There seemed to have been two funerals, at minimum, conducted. Is all his due to faulty memory and grief? I don’t think so.

5) His family and friends who think he’s dead.

His brother, Michael, has never stated his belief his brother was dead. He has said “unlikely” he’s alive … he has hemmed-and-hawwed … he has danced a LOT, but he has always left open the door. His brother was next to him, holding his hand, when he “died.” If Michael isn’t certain, there must be a reason — in the absence of other facts, we can chalk this up to grief, inability to let go, or a marketing campaign to keep Andy’s memory alive. With the other evidence? I think it’s because Michael knows he’s alive and doesn’t want to lie.

Also, there are as many friends of Andy’s who think he’s alive.

6) Time

Andy said he’d have to be “gone a long time” to set the bit. 20 years or 25 years would be the expected time period. By 30 years, most people would have given up the idea that he’s alive. Perfect point of entry.

There is a low likelihood of anyone getting lung cancer at his then-young age. Yes, it happens, but it’s not the statistical norm. We have to look at the likelihood of things, given other evidence. Most people live to be at least 80. Andy was only 35. Given all the other evidence we have pointed out in previous posts? I’m sorry, but I can find no other logical deduction but that he’s alive.

COULD he have been planning his death, written a script that specifically predicted it, and then tragically died from lung cancer? Of course, it COULD happen. But I don’t think it did.

The sneers of primate derision may now begin. lol

The Women Wrestling

I need to point this out to some of my old friends, fellow feminists, who aren’t Andyherents —

The women wrestling?  I remember watching it and launching into muscle-bending hilarity as I watched Andy Kaufman goad an entire wrestling stadium full of redneck men (I mean that in the cultural sense, not the ethnic slur sense) to stand up and scream back at him how women are just as strong as men.

My friends got pissed at Andy.  I laughed my fat ass off and bowed to my favorite performance artist.

I could have told you, Andy, this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.  And now … a blast from the past.